There's nothing worse than being socially awkward in a situation, ever had that awkward silence when you're talking to a girl you like? That's why we asked Lovesystems instructor "Sinn" to explain how to avoid this designation and how to improve your social skills!
Being socially awkard to women is like kryptonite, it will immediately stall the conversation and it will likely go south very quickly thereafter. Avoid being socially awkward by improving your overall social skills with women and having a few things (or routines) in your head on standby shuold a moment come where there is nothing to say. Another one of the easiest ways to improve your social skills and avoid being socially awkward is to have a higher energy level making you more attractive to talk to. This way, even if a silence does come the woman may try to fill that gap because you're doing so well the rest of the conversation.
Social awkwardness can also be seen by many women as anything you do (or don't do) that doesn't make you as presentable as possible. Take a look at the list below, thesee are all easy fixes which might help improve your social skills.
- Long stringy 80s metal hair - The lesson: buy conditioner and go to a hairdresser; do not pick your hair style yourself.
- Acne - This is simple. Go to a dermatologist or buy some proactiv; it works wonders.
- Glasses - Get contacts or Lasik, unless your glasses get compliments from women you want to sleep with. Your mom doesn't count.
- Plain black T-shirt - Don't wear tees that don't get you opened. It's not worth it.
- Super tight black pants - Wear clothes that fit. Too baggy makes you look immature, and too tight makes you look like you should be singing "satisfaction."
- Spinning rim belt buckle - If you are over twelve this is lame.
- Black nail polish - You guys aren't "superstar daredevil illusionists." If you are a lawyer, doctor, engineer, firefighter, student, computer programmer, banker, etc... don't do it. It just looks too goth and weird if you have a day job.
- Gleaming white Reebok 1980s pump basketball shoes with his pants tucked into them.
Guys, buy cool shoes. It's a well-known fact that I like New Rocks (I have like 10 pairs). They are all pretty cool and give you much needed inches of height, but I've also seen cool Ben Shermans, Adidas, and even Skechers. Get cool shoes and keep them shiny... but not alien abduction shiny.
The bottom line here is that before you really try to introduce the tactics from "The Game" or a seminar, try to be the best dressed guy in the bar first. There is an art to learning how to dress and how to project a powerful first impression. Before you can cut an image like some of the more flamboyant pickup artists, you need to be able to cut an image as someone who stands out without being flashy.
Any of the almost one thousand students I have taught in the last two years can testify to the major differences in the way I have dressed from then until now. Styles will naturally evolve if you allow yourself to make some changes to what you naturally do. However, those changes don't have to include black nails and a feather boa.
I think that everyone should have a suit, a cool fit-in outfit (like a leather jacket and cool jeans, or a vintage T-shirt and jeans, or a button down shirt that fits you really well and stands out), and something that really stands out. Wear all three of them out and see what gets you the best reactions from women you want.
Now back to our conversation in New York:
Sinn: "Define really low results." I'm thinking six lays.
Guy: "I've been going out every day, all day, and once did forty hours in a week. And the most I've gotten are flaky phone numbers. I'm only nineteen and don't want to take a program."
Sinn: "Are you using teasing and time constraints?"
Sinn: "What openers are you using?"
Guy: "Jealous GF."
Sinn: "Have you read the Magic Bullets Handbook?"
Guy: "Yeah, I've read everything."
Sinn: "How long are your sets going?"
Guy: "Like five minutes."
If you guys are not getting anything but phone numbers and logging forty hours of approaching women a week, you are doing something that is really weirding women out. You need to step back and see what you are doing, because it's not her fault.
- Look cool?
- Groom before leaving the house?
- Smell good?
- Approach as soon as you see a target?
- Have a style that is recognizable (Are you goth, hip hop, rock, preppy, trendy, sophisticated, scruffy, GQ, etc.)?
- Have clothes that fit you well (And not clothes that would fit Brad Pitt well. If you carry a little extra weight hide it.)?
- Have nice teeth?
- Have well groomed eyebrows and hair?
- Have clean ears and no ear hairs?
- Have no visible nostril hairs?
- Have a nice scent or cologne?
- Look like the identity you are trying to project?
If you answered no to any of these, fix it immediately.
I am not ripping on the guy who approached me as he seemed like a sweet kid who was good-intentioned and obviously smart enough to find the community. Plus, anyone who logs the hours he has spent going out is amazingly dedicated. I totally respect him as a person; he's just the latest example I can remember of guys who just don't get fashion and think that imitating the flashy guys looks cool.
It's not the clothes that make the successful pickup artist, it's the character.
Find your own style but in the meantime become the coolest looking guy in the bar, the one most up-to-date on what's cool. It's not enough to "wear cool clothes and be normal," but it helps.
CD Vol 1. Opening and Transition (Sinn and Savoy)
CD Vol 3 Storytelling and Humor (Sinn and Future)
CD Vol 5 Frame Control & Subcommunications (Savoy and Sinn)
CD Vol 6 Identity (Tenmagnet, Sinn & Future)
CD Vol 8 Qualification (Vision & Sinn)
CD Vol 10 Phone Game (Savoy & Sinn)
CD Vol 11 Physical Escalation & Kissing (Sinn & The Don)
CD Vol 12 On Seduction (Sinn & Tenmagnet)
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