Some factors are outside of your control. I was taking home a very beautiful lingerie model from a friend’s party in Toronto when she literally fainted in the taxi. Instead of my hotel, we had a decidedly non-romantic night at the hospital.
That was outside my control. Nothing I could have done about that.
On the other hand, I’ve had pickups go wrong because of things that WERE in my control – moreover, they were things that ANY man could have done, no matter what his skill level, and in fact could have and should have been taken care of before I even left my house.
So, I made this list to share with you of 6 objects any man should have. These are things you can do BEFORE you go out that make your game better INSTANTLY. No excuses!
1. A phone that takes, sends, and receives pictures and video. This is great for those “You won’t believe what I just saw,” or “We’ve gone to an after party – check out this video. You should come!” type of messages.
2. A lighter. Ideally a lighter with a story behind it. In a lot of places now, people go outside to smoke. She may ask you for a light, either because she needs one or because that’s how some girls tell guys they are interested in them. If you pull out a snazzy lighter, she’ll probably ask you about it.
3. Breath mints. Obvious, for you. Not so obvious: she might not want to kiss you if she’s unsure of her breath. Make sure you have a supply before you leave the house.
Next time you’re in a foreign country, buy a giant stack of breath mints. When you get home, every time you take one out, she has an easy thing to ask you about.
4. Wine, vodka, and girlie mixers. How else are you going to invite her home for one last drink after the bars close? Bonus points for champagne; it doesn’t have to be expensive.
Before Love Systems and the Triad Model of Seduction I had some success by just asking women I was talking to when the bars closed, “do you like champagne?” When they said yes, I brought them home. With a good wingman, this works very well.
5. Two condoms. Don’t rely on your bedside table; you might end up at her place. And trust me – when she’s trying to keep “plausible deniability” that you and her are not going to have sex, it’s a bit awkward to talk her into stopping at the gas station to get condoms...
... but it’s doable. I really must write a field report of that night...
6. A couple notes in your phone. Every time you go out, have fun and get better at some skill. Maybe it’s a routine from the * (or Volume 2, which you can try out for just $9.99) that you want to try out or maybe it’s a reminder to yourself to make statements instead of asking questions or to tease her more – it could be one of a million things depending on what you’re working on with your game. But whatever it is, write it down so you don’t forget it in the heat of the moment.
I’m not going to try to steal Future’s thunder – a tall order even if I tried – but when listening to the interview, I definitely found myself both nodding my head and taking notes as Future (and Pendrixx) dished some of their tips.
(Logistics) Sit or stand near her right away – this isn’t a nightclub where you have 4 hours to arrange to talk to her. On a bus or plane people sit somewhere and then get off at their stop. So, even if it doesn’t look cool, even if it telegraphs too much interest right away, go ahead and sit beside her anyway. Even if there other empty seats.
Have her “go first” – If you’re on a subway, find out where’s she going and then “spontaneously” realize that you’re getting off at or near her stop too, so why not grab a quick cup of coffee and continue this conversation? It’s far less awkward than telling her you’re going somewhere, learning that she’s going somewhere miles away, and then telling her you’ll change your plans.
Be conscious of time – On a subway or bus, her trip could end any time. Don’t waste time with long stories or long routines. Even on an airplane, if you wait too long she might have her eyes closed and headphones on the next time you turn to talk to her. Use the Love Systems Triad Model as your guide and get to where you need to be emotionally and logistically as quickly as possible. Especially logistically, look for “hooks” early on that will let you contact her again if your conversation gets interrupted – things like where she works or her Facebook page.
If you see a woman you’d like to meet, but you don’t approach her, that’s usually caused by approach anxiety.
The modern “bible” of dating and seduction for men, the Magic Bullets Handbook, has a sizable section on this – here are a couple refresher tips straight from the book:
Give your wingman $100 at the start of the night. He gives you $10 back every time you make an approach. You’ll get in the habit very quickly.
Keep a journal of your nights out and how many approaches you did. You can’t manage what you don’t measure.
Do a few “warm up” approaches before you get to the bar or club or party. A club I used to go to a lot had a dive bar right beside it – so I’d go to the dive bar for 20 minutes, “warm up” with some approaches to get me in a talkative mood, then I went to the club.
Momentum is crucial. Approach as soon as you get in the club. Even if it’s just to ask the time. Don’t let inertia take over. (Lots of people forget this rule.)
Before you go out, write down a list of excuses why someone might not approach. (E.g., “She’s not hot enough,” “I want to get a drink/go to the bathroom first,” “She looks like she’s talking to her friends,” “I don’t have an opener ready,” etc.) Decide in advance if any of those excuses “count.” When you go out, don’t talk yourself out of an approach with an excuse that doesn’t count.
The best way to get rid of approach anxiety is of course to improve your game so that you WANT to approach, because each interaction will be exciting and fun. It’s amazing how quickly approach anxiety disappears at a PUA bootcamp. But hopefully these starter tips will get you going.