How to Approach Women

Learning how to talk to women can seem like a daunting task.  We can simplify this whole process by dividing your time with a woman into sections including: approaching, transitioning, attracting, qualifying, and building comfort. This system described in love systems boot camps can be used to describe the emotional, physical, and logistical progression you must make in order to get the girl. Learning how to approach women, the first thing you need to do to start this process to eventually get the girl most guys are reluctant to do this and shy away from opportunities to converse by making up excuses like "she probably has a boyfriend," "she's not my type," or "she looks like a bitch." But these rationales are nonsense. What's really going on is one of two things:

  1. You don't know what to say to a girl.
  2. You're afraid of being rejected.

If you ask anyone in the pick up community about what to say to a girl, they'll tell you that the subject matter or "line" you begin with doesn't really matter. What does matter is the way you speak and your body language.

When you approach a girl for the first time, she will form an instant impression of you in a split second. If that impression is good, you'll get a positive response almost no matter what you say. If that impression is bad, she'll likely be cold and disinterested, signaling her lack of enthusiasm by giving very short answers, looking away from you, or even ignoring you.

So how can we make sure this first impression is a good one?

First, take on a confident body language and ensure you have a command presence when you make your initial approach. Keep your head up, relax your shoulders, hold your drink to the side (not in front of you like most guys do) and walk slowly. Imagine you are the owner of the venue and you're walking over to ask a customer if she's enjoying your bar. You know how people say "that guy acts like he owns the place or something?" That guy should be you. This is a very important aspect of learning how to approach women. If you project the right image through positive body language, you'll find that instantaneous rejection will be very rare. Women will at least converse with you, even if they don’t end up hopping in your bed.

For some examples of what to say to a girl, check out our discussion of pick up lines.

The next critical thing to remember is that rejection is no big deal. There is no reason to be afraid of it. Why? Because she is not rejecting you as a person. She doesn’t know you, your family, your friends, your background, etc. She is only rejecting your method of approach. Essentially, she is giving you feedback on your body language, telling you that some visual cue from your body and actions is not appealing. Take that criticism and think about what you did wrong. How did you feel walking over? Were you completely relaxed? Were you nervous? The only way to learn is to practice, make mistakes, analyze, and repeat.

If you want to learn how to approach women, you need to approach them regularly. Before going out, set the goal of approaching 4 girls before you are allowed to go home. If you go out three times a week, you'll do 12 approaches a week. After two months, you'll have approached close to 100 girls! That's probably more approaches than most guys have done in their entire lives!

If you truly want to better your abilities and get the girl, Love Systems recommends that you download the full length free report titled "Top 10 mistakes men make with women." You can get it immediately and confidentially delivered to your inbox. Just enter your email in the box at the top of the page and let the games begin!