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Get Better with Women - Making These Mistakes?

I want to talk about the mistakes that most people make while approaching. Want to get better with women? You might be making these common mistakes with women that are holding you down. Most guys will approach a woman and then try running a routine of some sort or a story used to show off some positive qualities. This is very wrong. There is a structure to approaching that took me a while to be able to articulate.

 

We all (hopefully) know that you need to accomplish three things in order to move into attraction. These are:

  • Your approach (no matter what it is)
  • Your False Time Constraint (to let the woman know you have plans)
  • Your first tease, etc.

What most guys do wrong (besides not giving a false time constraint) is that they will start talking and then transition in a strictly non-sequitur way. For example:

    Guy: Hey guys, would you ever date someone who was still good friends with his ex?

    Women: [answer....]

    Guy: Well, my buddy's girlfriend found a box of letters and pictures and wants him to burn them. What do you think of that?

    Women: [answer...]

    Guy: So the other day I was cliff diving and...

This is no good.

Instead, we want to look like we are about to leave and then notice something about them that makes us stay. For example:

    Guy: Hey guys, would you ever date someone who was still good friends with his ex?

    Women: [answer....]

    Guy: Oh my god, are you guys best friends? Cuz you guys make the exact same facial expressions. [Best friends test]

    Women: [giggle and may or may not ask you to finish your topic.]

Remember that an approach only needs to get you in. It doesn't need to demonstrate value or be milked. Milking the initial conversation is one of the major mistakes I see at live workshops every other weekend. I hate when I come into a guy's group after watching for five minutes and he is still discussing a jealous girlfriend or who lies more.

That doesn't work.

It also telegraphs way too much interest in this banal topic. Instead, you want to start your own conversations and topics of your own choosing. That means that you do not have to finish your opening line. Instead, you can begin a new routine right after your hook question.

Also, watch for responses as some women will be really into you right off the first interaction and you may be able to skip attraction.

Now, the next mistake guys make is forgetting to time constrain.

One of the first things that goes through a woman's head when you open her group is "How long is this guy going to stay?" We can alleviate this discomfort quite easily just by casually saying that we have to get back to our friends.

The way I think about opening and the game in general is that I am simply crossing these items off of my cheat sheet.

  • Approach - Check
  • False Time Constrain - Check
  • Tease - Check

Now I am in attraction. Then, it becomes three of the eight Attraction Switches:

  • Pre-selection - Check
  • Leader of men - Check
  • Protector of loved ones - Check

It's that easy.

The final part of the interaction I want to touch on is teasing. If you are asking opinion questions as part of your approach you need to be busting women on their answers. For example:

    Guy: Would you guys ever date someone who was really good friends with his ex?

    Women: That's normal. I'd do that....

    Guy: Oh my god, you are totally the girl who keeps her exes around as booty calls. You're trouble. So, she finds this box of pictures and letters and shit and she wants my friend to stop talking to her and burn the box. Is that normal? Actually, before you answer... are you guys best friends?

    Women: [answer...]

However your target reacts to you, you need to be teasing her. This is where things like "Is she always like this" come into play.

So, if you are having problems approaching, or the women respond but it lacks that fun element of sexual tension, add in false time constraints and teases after the initial approach, and make sure that you are not staying on your first topics too long.

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