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Fashion - How Dressing Better Can Improve Your Chances When Approaching Women

On Fashion and Style

We want to talk about some basic fashion and style tips that will make everything you do more successful. We'll also get into lifestyle a little bit. In the past, we've been reluctant to be too detailed about this stuff. Fashion and style is one way of conveying your identity, and one of our best weapons is our ability at bootcamps to help you identify and express an identity that both fits you well and is interesting to beautiful women. However, that being said, we can definitely tell you what NOT to do, and that's a start. So, in no particular order...

  1. Untuck that shirt - Don't go out to a social gathering with a collared, button-down shirt that is tucked in. It's not in style. Trust us.
  2. Burn that t-shirt - Don't wear a white t-shirt under your dress shirt. That's very 1980s. It conveys a lack of sexuality. Undo the top two buttons of your shirt (no more!) and show a tiny bit of your chest. If this exposes mounds of chest hair, then get that taken care of too. While you're at it, get rid of short-sleeved button-down shirts too.
  3. Get some ornamental stuff - Earrings, funky shoes, rings, hats, scarves, neck-chains, wrist bands, whatever. Get something. What is purely ornamental (e.g., a double breasted suit, cuff links, a peacock's tail) is sexy. What is purely functional generally is not. See how Love Systems Instructors, movie stars, rock stars, and other men (whom women find sexy) dress, and you'll get it.
  4. Make your clothes fit - Why spend $80 on a great shirt that doesn't fit if you won't spend $5-$10 to have it altered? If it doesn't fit you perfectly, spend a couple of bucks, take it to a dry cleaner/alterations place, and get them to make it flatter your body.
  5. Remove excess hair - If you have any hint of your eyebrows touching, wax or shave them so there is separation. Nose and ear hairs are sexy to no one. Make sure your sideburns, if you have them, have a neat line and definition and are at the same length on each side. Most women prefer shaved chests too, though this varies.
  6. Squelch acne - First, if you're still getting acne, see a dermatologist. Second, for your acne scars, consider laser skin care (expensive) or makeup (cheap). Get a female friend to help you buy a cover up stick and some powder. You can make your zits vanish for the night.
  7. Whiten your teeth - It's cheap and easy. Go through your dentist, not those white strips. No excuses.
  8. Work out - No excuses. Just do it.
  9. Glasses - Glasses are sexy on some men. They are not on most men. Ask men in the game whether you look better with them on or off. If it's off, try contacts or surgery.
  10. Relax - Have you done all of this? Great. Now when you're out meeting women, don't worry about this anymore. You've done the best you can with what you have. Girls WILL notice. If you rated your looks from 1-10, a 6 who takes care of himself (and looks like an 8 because of it) is infinitely more attractive to a woman than an 8 who is a slob (and stays an 8).

We go over this stuff in intense detail at the bootcamps, but most of it is pretty individualized - it has to work for YOU. So use the above as a guide, but there is no substitute for getting advice from men who are in the game and have a great skillset. Don't go to your other frustrated friends for advice - they don't know what they are doing either. Don't rely too much on women's advice - they will try to dress you up like a Ken doll and women generally don't really know what attracts them anyway. Find the best guy you know, and ask him.

Another thing that will dramatically improve your success with women is your lifestyle. No matter how smoothly you make your way through the Triad model, you will eventually not be interesting to most women unless you have a desirable lifestyle.

  • Cultivate interesting friends, especially those who have nothing to do with the seduction community.
  • Have a couple of hobbies. It's great if those hobbies give you a chance to meet women or are exciting to women, but it's not necessary. Find something you are passionate about, and pursue it.
  • Have female friends. Attractive female friends are best. Try saying "let's just be friends" to a random number of the next few women you pick up. And then surround yourself with them. You'll continue to develop social skills and you'll be far more attractive to other women.
  • Take yourself outside your comfort zone in your daily life. Travel, go skydiving, learn another language, take up origami, it doesn't matter. Just do a couple of things that scare you a bit or take yourself away from what's safe and easy. It's great for your identity and will rub off on other aspects of your personality as well.
  • The average lifespan for a human is about 28,000 days. Most likely, one third to one half of those are already done for you. And in the last few, you won't be meeting many women. Decide what is important to you, and pursue it. You're not going to get a second chance. If your job is preventing you from having the lifestyle you want, change it. If you're spending time surfing the net instead of improving your life, change your habits. If your friends are holding you back, don't let them. If you keep doing what you've always done, you will get what you've always gotten.

Becoming very successful with women isn't an incremental process. You can't keep everything else in your life the same as it always was and expect your success with women to skyrocket once you integrate a couple of tips from us. You'll get some results, sure, but you won't get the transformation most people want. If you're not practicing, then practice. If you're not healthy, then work out. If you're not interesting, then improve yourself. All we can do is tell you how, but the execution depends on you. Invest in yourself.

 

ADVANCED SECTION

No surprises here. The advanced section on a fashion and style issue HAS to be about building a strong identity.

This relates to point #3 in the section above – "Get some ornamental stuff." But it goes beyond that. A man who has a strong identity is a man who has deliberately outfitted himself with clothes, and accessories, which draw attention because they stand out. Wear at least one interesting item. They may be unfashionable. But they are unique and attention-getting. We call this "peacocking."

The term is derived from the courting rituals of the peacock. The male peacock grows an exceptionally long and colorful tail to attract a mate. The long and colorful tail is at best useless and at worst a hindrance (it gets in the way and attracts predators). What a male peacock with a great tail is communicating is "I am so good at surviving and protecting myself that I can afford the disadvantage of this tail." Female peacocks are attracted to the underlying strength of this kind of male peacock.

Similar patterns can be found in human behavior. The man driving a Ferrari communicates that he has such great access to resources that he can afford to waste some of it. The man ordering the $500 bottle of vodka at a club communicates the same thing. These displays of wealth are part of many men's courting rituals, and, because of this, are often cliched and counterproductive. Thus, while some women will be attracted to the man in the Ferrari, others will wonder if he is "compensating" or prefer a man who has enough going for him that he doesn't need to flaunt monetary wealth as a way of making a good impression on women.

Building a strong identity – the Love Systems way – is about social, not material, wealth. This is fantastically attractive to women if executed correctly. It draws attention, it demonstrates self-confidence and individuality, and it is DIFFERENT. An attractive woman in her mid-20s has probably been hit on 5000 times before you came along. Well, most of those 5000 were wearing jeans and a button down shirt. They were boring and blended in with each other. Very few were wearing leather bracelets, ornamental necklaces or something to stand out.

Having a strong visual identity is not without risks. The key question in putting together an outfit is "can you pull it off?"

Example 1: A man walks into a trendy restaurant. He is wearing a top hat, a silk vest, and shiny white shoes. Everyone looks. "Who is this guy?" He walks confidently to the bar, greets the bartender and engages in conversation with two attractive women. They respond and enjoy his company. Twenty minutes later he is seen telling a story to a small group (men and women) who are listening intently. People start to drift over to have their picture taken with him. Women start asking their dates to introduce them to him. He is always visible, always present, and he owns the social environment. He is probably able to start in qualification with any woman in the room, since they will already be attracted to him. His dress combined with his social status make people think he is a celebrity, or at least treat him as if he were one. If he can pull it off...

Example 2: A man walks into a trendy restaurant. He is wearing a top hat, a silk vest, and shiny white shoes. Everyone looks. "Who is this guy?" He walks around the area a couple of times, looking for groups to break into. Finally he engages a group of women but is blown out. Everyone notices. People start to stare and point. Some weirdo who can't dress is trying to pick up women and he looks ridiculous. After a few minutes, he no longer has a chance. Everyone has seen women reject him. No other women will be interested. His dress, combined with his lack of social status make people think he is a loser, or at least treat him as if he were one. He can’t pull it off...

As you can see, having a strong identity has a multiplying effect. The guy in Example 1 probably has the skills to attract women without it. But his decisions in his visual attire will enable him to have more choices, especially among the most attractive women. The guy in Example 2 probably wasn't going anywhere anyway. But choice of clothing ensured it. So, if you're doing well, a strong visual identity will make it a lot better, but if you're doing badly, it will make you a lot worse.

Your identity has to be different, but not weird. Dress like a celebrity, not a fool. There are no hard-and-fast rules here; it will require some fashion intuition and experience (or trial and error). But try things, experiment, and have fun!

 

Resources:

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