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Are Your Openers Satisfying?

I'm at the point where almost anything will open. But what I'm looking for is openers that lead into a lot of other good stuff. My best openers are the ones that flow seamlessly into routines, qualifying, and stuff like that. I guess if you deliver the opener enough times you can find those seamless transitions, but some openers just don't lend themselves to it.

For the record, I hate neutral opinion openers. I can execute them just fine and all, but I hardly ever do. Yeah sure they get the chick talking and buy you another minute, but they're just too blah for me. Some of these openers just leave me feeling... sort of... I don't know... less than satisfied. They give me that not-so-fresh feeling.

Here's a good example of one that works, the Cotton Candy Opener: 

Go up to a woman and say "Hey, do you know anyplace to get cotton candy around here this time of night?"

This flows into the following: 

  1. I’m immediately mentally qualifying her based on her answer. A druggy will think I’m talking about drugs. Someone with no sense of humor will tell me a serious answer like "Wal-Mart." Cool women know it's a joke, and they joke back. They sense I’m qualifying them, and it's a good thing.
  1. A woman will often ask why you asked her that. I say "because you look like you go to the circus a lot." This is confusing and mystifying. I'm not sure why, but it works. I think it's some kind of an offbeat tease. Then I ask when was the last time she went to the circus, and if the answer is never I lead into "were you an underprivileged ghetto child?" If she has been, I let her talk a moment about childhood memories. Only rarely will a woman get totally offended by the circus thing, about 1 in 50 I’d say. 
  1. I say "where I’m from you can get it anytime 24/7 cause there's a Mexican guy who sells it on the corner at 3am." She'll ask "where are you from?" I make her guess. Now we're in a guessing game. I might start guessing stuff about her too, which can lead into psychic-type routines. "I'm from New York City" I eventually tell them, which makes me instantly cooler than the women. They're in awe of you if you say you're from New York City. (Well, unless you're actually in New York City in which case you need to switch it up a bit. Like say Los Angeles, or Queens.)
  1. This leads into a "reckon/yonder" routine, which is where I make fun of wherever it is that she's from. "Do you use the word reckon? How about yonder... how 'bout fixin'" This stuff makes me much cooler than the woman. 
  1. This leads into "do you crawl through cow fields in the middle of the night looking for psychedelic mushrooms growing in cow shit, 'cause my friend Carl told me a story about that and I think it's gross."

Okay, by that point she's hooked, and I may be escalating physically, or I may have decided that she's not worth my time and I move on to the next set. 

For more on opening, check out our Interview Series Vol. 1 Opening & Transitioning with Sinn and Savoy and Vol. 14 The First Five Minutes with The Don and Tenmagnet.

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