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How to Talk to Women You Meet During the Day

Hey Guys,

I've been meaning to write this post for a while, so apologies for the delay. Some of the below is a bit detailed and may be a lot to take in for guys new to Day Game. Don't worry if it is, just read the newbie note at the bottom, get out there and do a few sets, then come back and read the full article.

Some background on me. I've been working on my game for a few years now (started with David DeAngelo in 2003, but got into Game proper in 2005). I concentrated very much on indirect club game when I started, but as I grew and developed I discovered a love for Direct Game and Day Game.

Where I stand now is that I like doing night game as well, but Day Game will always be my first love. I have met two of the most incredible girlfriends that I have loved most in my life through Day Game, have had countless dates as a result of daytime number closes, have taken girls home the same day I've met them, and brought a group of girls I've met during the day back to my place.

I've stopped using routines and now flow naturally from my heart. I have enormous respect for routines and I teach my students to use routines if I think they need them. Ultimately though, I have practiced so many routines that I now create them on the spot (which in a way is what being natural is about). I don't do takeaways, I don't disqualify, I don't neg. I escalate shamelessly, hard and fast, whilst simultaneously making sure the girl feels as comfortable and safe as possible.

Though I meet girls in night game, I enjoy the variety of girls you can meet in the daytime, the ease with which you can talk to them (bitch shields are WAY down in the day), and the way you can brighten up a beautiful woman's day unexpectedly.

In some ways, Day Game follows the same structure as any other type of game. But people are always asking me questions about how things are different. So here are the main differences and how to get around them:

    1. Guys generally get more approach anxiety approaching girls in the daytime than they do at night.

  • People always think, "Isn't it weird to approach girls in the day? Aren't they busy? Aren't they going to tell you to get lost?" The truth is it's no less weird than approaching people you don't know to talk to them in a bar. I used to think girls were going to react really badly, when in fact, they probably react better in the daytime than they do at night. At night, they expect guys to be drunk and hit on them, but in the daytime, it happens to them much less often and thus they are impressed by your confidence and willingness to take risks. Like all approach anxiety, the only way to overcome this is to man up and go open them!

    2. Direct openers are much more necessary in Day Game than night game.

  • There are a lot of venue considerations in Day Game (see below), but in many situations, particularly in street game, it can come across as really bizarre to stop a random girl and ask her opinion on something. In a bar, you could feasibly be having a conversation with your mates, and want to ask someone nearby their opinion, but in the daytime it comes across as less congruent. Direct openers work fantastically well on the street, e.g. "Excuse me, I just saw you walking past and thought you looked absolutely beautiful! I know this is really forward of me but I just had to say hello. How are you?" Direct Openers are also massively important for moving sets. Contrary to what most people think, it is ridiculously easy to stop moving sets (most of my sets are girls walking past me), you just need to be committed enough to your Direct Opener. When you open a moving set, stop, plant yourself right on the ground where you are and deliver the opener. Do NOT start moving as they are moving; wait for them to stop. If they don't stop, it will be creepy to follow them.

    3. Day Game involves a greater variety of venues than night game. These venues are mainly differentiated by the levels of Social Pressure they involve.

  • You have the streets (my favorite), cafes, bookstores, art galleries, college campuses, etc. (all good places to meet women) Every venue or situation is slightly different, so you will need to develop good social calibration so you don't creep girls out. The biggest factor to be aware of is Social Pressure. The more other people can listen to your interaction with a woman, the higher the Social Pressure will be, and the more potentially uncomfortable the girl will feel. In high social pressure situations, your job is three-fold. First, don't go too Direct, either open indirectly or tone down your Direct opener (e.g. "That's a lovely dress, how are you doing?"). Second, have a strong frame of feeling comfortable in the interaction. The strongest frame always wins: You feeling comfortable talking to her will make her relax. If you are nervous, she will start to feel uncomfortable. The truth is, feeling this comfortable only comes with time and practice. But remember, she can't see how you feel inside, only how you act on the outside. Third, make her laugh. If you can tease her or otherwise make her laugh within the first thirty seconds of the interaction, she will instantly relax - the interaction is then suddenly a fun bit of banter with a stranger instead of being accosted by some creepy guy on the subway.

    4. Super hot girls are MUCH easier to open in the daytime.

  • You know how the super hot girls get hit on a lot in bars and clubs? There is one reason why: alcohol. It normally starts happening after everyone is liquored up. In the sober light of day (and without all their buddies to back up their testosterone levels), most guys are completely scared of the uber-hottie walking down the street. They will gawp at her, but God forbid they summon the stones to go up to her and say hello. Direct game works really well in the daytime with super hotties. You'll be surprised at how many of them will turn around to you and say, "Oh my God, that's so nice of you, no one has ever stopped me on the street to say that!"

    5. You can get into Comfort much more quickly in Day Game than night game.

  • The fact that you have approached her in the daytime already demonstrates a lot of value; if you went Direct (good on ya!), then this is even more pronounced. Attraction building should happen in a matter of minutes. As soon as she's laughing and enjoying the interaction, stop thinking about attraction and start thinking about qualifying and building comfort. You'll need to escalate things as part of this. The easiest way to escalate the interaction on the street is to ask her which way she is headed, and suggest that you walk with her for a few minutes to chat. You can add in a, "I don't want to go dress shopping or anything like that with you though - that would be kinda gay - so I'll probably head off in a few minutes!" This works exactly like a false time constraint. You are reducing the pressure in the situation.

    6. Day Game approaches are often less expected by women and can take them by surprise.

  • This is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, as mentioned above it causes guys to have more anxiety when daytime approaching, and they sometimes equate the surprise that girls will get with her being weirded out. On the other hand, because she is surprised, you have just spiked her emotions and therefore, if you run the interaction well, this turns into a massive positive for you. Not to mention the fact that very rarely do guys approach women on the street, so when you do approach her she will be more impressed and more likely to remember you positively (and therefore LESS likely to flake than a night game set). The best way to handle the surprise/shock factor she may experience (especially if you use a Direct opener) is to acknowledge the situation, e.g. "I know this is really forward of me... but I was going to regret it all day if I didn't stop you and say hello," or, "This is very bold of me, but I thought you looked absolutely stunning, and I don't believe in letting opportunities pass you by."

    7. It is harder to get a Same Day Lay than a Same Night Lay.

  • The reason why this is true is because of logistics, not because of social conventions (which is what you might have expected). If your game is good enough, you can bend social conventions to your whim, but once you get good, the biggest problem you spend most of your time overcoming is logistics. The fact is, girls will tend to be more busy and in the middle of doing other things in the daytime, so often you will only be able to take a phone number, build some comfort, and then move on. However, this doesn't mean you shouldn't be on the lookout for Same Day Lays!!! In the ideal situation, you meet the girl and take her on a series of venue changes that end up back at your place. More commonly, there will be an "interrupt," where she has to go home to eat or meet friends, etc. In these cases you can still try to get her to come out to a party with you that night. Guys, you need to get out of the mentality that Day Game is just about taking phone numbers: You are trying to seduce these women, not just get their digits. Set up the instant date if you can (e.g. take her for a coffee, then a drink, then a walk, then your place), or arrange to meet her later that day if you can. As mentioned above though, this all depends on what else she has got going on that day. Welcome to the wonderful world of logistical management!

    8. You often have less time to demonstrate value to the girl than in night game.

  • Some girls you open will be in a rush to get somewhere, just about to meet friends, or may not have the time or inclination to talk to a random (albeit fun and interesting) stranger in the middle of the day. Because you are not in a bar, chances are she is not going to see you talking to other people (i.e. no opportunity for social proof). In the daytime, therefore, you typically have a very small window of opportunity to make a good first impression: You must present yourself as well as humanly possible. Leave the house ready to meet women. Wear nice clothes, style your hair, and wear good shoes (don't wear your tatty trainers, homeboy). All of these things will encourage her to respond positively to you when you stop her in the middle of the street.

    9. Groups of women seem more difficult to approach even though they really are not.

  • It's not true that you can't run Direct Game on groups of women, and it's not true that you can't open groups of women in the daytime. Your strategy with a group should be either to pull all of them to another venue with you (typically again, there will be an interrupt, but you can invite them somewhere later that night), or to open the girl you want, build some comfort with the whole group (so they approve of you and allow you to pick up the girl you want), and then start escalating with your chosen girl. Escalation in front of the group might be as simple as taking her number, finding out some stuff about her and qualifying her a little.

This of course is not everything there is to know about Day Game, but I've covered some of the most salient points here that I think a lot of people miss about this fine art.

The most important thing guys, is to take action. I have gone out with so many people who excel in night game, but choke in the daytime. You need to be willing to take action TODAY, not tomorrow, not the day after. Procrastination is the world's greatest sin. You will find that once you force yourself to open a few daytime sets, your skills and experience in other areas will rapidly transfer across. You must be willing to burst through that barrier.

Day Game for Newbies

 

Pickup artist/ PUA Soul and Vercetti analyze direct day game

 

 

 

Doing Day Game can be scary at first. Here are a few tasks to ease you into it if you're having trouble. These tasks are progressively harder, but will demonstrate to you that people are a lot friendlier and pleasant in the daytime than you might expect. Rather than complicate it with group sets at this point, start off with women who are by themselves.

  • Ask 5 beautiful women, "Excuse me, do you know what the time is?"
  • Ask 5 beautiful women, "Excuse me, do you know where the nearest coffee shop is?"
  • Ask 5 beautiful women, "Excuse me, do you know where the nearest men's fashion store is?" [She replies]. "Oh thanks, I'm trying to get some new shirts. You're very well dressed, do you have any tips for me?"
  • Tell 5 beautiful women, "Excuse, I just saw you walking past and I thought you were really cute, I had to stop and say hello. How are you?"

After you've completed these tasks, you are ready to move on to standard transitioning and attraction building etc.

Good luck fellas!

Soul