Today, we persuaded Soul to share one of his recent experiences in Day Game with us. We’re lucky – he went one better and actually provided a step-by-step account of what he did at every stage of the interaction and why. Over to Soul:
I don’t often write detailed stories about the women I meet, but I wanted to break this one down just to demonstrate what is possible in Day Game. It’s a good reminder of how far I’ve come. It’s incredible to think that a few years ago when I took my first bootcamp, I couldn’t even imagine talking to a beautiful young woman let alone sleeping with one on the same day I met her.
It’s also a good reminder of what dating science is all about. I’ve met the occasional person that’s said to me, “Dude, I think what you’re doing is wrong. Seducing women is bad!” Most unhealthy negative viewpoints stem from ignorance. In this case, that kind of guy has probably not had enough quality women in his life to realize that good relationships, whether brief flings or long-term ones, are mutually enjoyable.
It’s taken me a lot of hard work to become a Love Systems instructor. I wasn’t always as confident and competent as I am now, which is funny because most guys when they meet me say, “You seem so naturally confident!” They don’t realize that I was a classic introvert and that it’s taken me years to become the man I am today.
Two things that are critical to progressing your ability to date beautiful women (and indeed, in any ability) are Experimentation and Persistence. All Love Systems instructors are pioneers in their own fields because they have experimented with their own ideas and then persisted with those they believed could work. I’ve hung out a lot with Mr. M and Braddock this year and have been consistently blown away whenever they told me their Social Circle Mastery ideas. They inspired me to push the boundaries of what I did in Day Game by showing me that dating science was flexible and could go anywhere we wanted it to.
So it was when I was in Holland recently that I decided to experiment with rapid physical escalation in the daytime. My goal was to kiss a girl (a real, French kiss) within five minutes of meeting her without messing up the rest of the interaction. If you are new to dating science, this is NOT something I would recommend trying until you are comfortable with kissing girls. Magic Bullets has a whole chapter that covers everything you need to know about kissing – once you’ve mastered this in clubs and bars, you can start trying to apply it in the daytime, but you need to have the basics down.
I’m in Amsterdam when I spot a beautiful girl wearing sexy, big sunglasses sitting at a table outside a coffee shop. I go over and run one of my standard direct openers, “Excuse me, you are so gorgeous. I had to come and say hello” – she opens up like a can of beans. I love being direct.
A few minutes later, I’m taking her number and trying to establish a plan for spending more time with her. She tells me she’s going to Paris early tomorrow morning, so I’m thinking either I try to sleep with her this afternoon or when she’s back from Paris a day later. I have dinner plans with a friend that night, so I decide on the latter strategy, take her number and leave. A little while later I meet her at the station for a few minutes and think, “Screw it, go for the kiss.” It’s broad daylight and I’ve interacted with her for all of four minutes, but all I can think about is pushing things as far and as fast as I can.
I look at her, start giving her my seduction eyes, lean in slowly to kiss each cheek, pull back, and then pull her in to kiss me on the lips. There’s tension and some resistance, but my lips touch hers. There’s more resistance, so I add in some tongue and her resistance falters. She is mine.
I try texting and calling her to meet me when she comes back from Paris, but she flakes. Damn it. I conclude that I pushed too far in the initial interaction without having good enough logistics to continue it. I ignored Savoy’s good advice in Magic Bullets about how you need to have a suitable location and time to seduce a woman and paid the price! The rapid daytime makeout needed modification, but I was determined to make it work.
Next up is a voluptuous girl wearing a loose green top that doesn’t leave much to the imagination. I open her on the street and start touching her arms and hands immediately. There is resistance, but I keep talking and making her laugh. I tease her by saying that she wore those clothes on purpose so that I would approach her.
Humor is one of the most important of the eight Attraction switches from Magic Bullets. I teach all my students that if you can get her laughing in the first minute of a daytime interaction, she’ll instantly feel relaxed and willing to have a conversation with you. We cover a bunch of ways to make girls laugh in the Day Game seminar, but if you need some quick ideas, check out the Routines Manual where almost every instructor has contributed his best routines.
Once I’ve got her giggling, I convince her to come have a drink with me. Something about her top and billowing breasts possesses me while we sit there in the hot sun, and suddenly I feel the urge to physically escalate. My hands are all over her and at first she resists, but then starts to enjoy it and says, “This is so crazy!” I keep trying for the makeout, but I’m getting more resistance. I am talking my way through it like Don Juan. I start kissing her neck and whispering all the naughty things I want to do to her into her ear. It’s about 3pm, broad daylight outside, and I’ve known this girl for all of ten minutes.
I convince her to come to my hotel room another twenty minutes later. Then I have to wait until my friend gets out. While he is getting ready, I build some basic comfort with the girl. When my friend leaves, I quickly get into bed with her. I turn her on as much as I can but ultimately she refuses to have sex with me. Damn it. This time I had the logistics, but I didn’t have the Comfort. With some seriously blue balls at this stage, I resolve to make the rapid daytime makeout work.
My friend and I decide to hit up the free music festival in The Hague. Festivals are awesome because everyone is always in such a good mood. I spot a beautiful young brunette girl on the tram over there, but she’s too far away for it to be easy to approach.
We get off the tram and a few minutes later I notice she’s just in front of me walking slowly by herself. Boom! A girl walking slowly is always a good sign for a Same Day Lay; they’re typically in a slightly dreamlike state, almost waiting for something exciting to happen to them. It also means she’s not in a rush to go meet anyone either, which means you could be the person she spends the rest of the afternoon with.
One of the great things about Day Game is that once you get over your approach anxiety, it’s actually very simple and easy to strike up a conversation with a beautiful woman. In most situations you can use either a Direct or a Situational Opener and then transition off it with something interesting and/or funny.
I walk up behind the young brunette girl and tap her lightly on the arm from behind.
Soul: Hey, my friend has just gone to chat up that girl over there, so I’m bored and need company. How are you?
Her: Oh, okay [smiling]. I’m fine, thanks.
Soul: So, have you been to this festival before?
Her: No, it’s my first time.
Soul: Awesome, me too. I’m in Holland for the weekend; I love it here. Everyone is so cute and friendly. I love the Dutch accent too. It always sounds like you guys are talking with your mouth full!
[Savoy here jumping in. Notice how Soul is setting the frame that people are friendly. The woman almost has no choice but to be friendly at this stage. You can use the same technique for difficult approaches or “insider”-type venues. Soul is a genius.]
Soul: Where are your friends? [I’m establishing logistics.]
Her: I’m meeting a friend a bit later, but just thought I’d come by myself for a bit and wait until she gets here.
Soul: [*Ding ding ding* A girl walking around by herself is waiting to be swept off her feet ] Wow, that’s brave of you to come to a huge festival by yourself. I really like that kind of independence in a woman.
Her: [Beaming smile] Thanks!
I continue walking and talking with her. Five minutes later I’m wondering whether I can kiss her or not. I always tell my students, “Don’t be someone who makes assumptions as to whether something is possible or not; be willing to test those assumptions with your actions.”
So I stop her, tell her that she has amazing skin, and stroke a lock of her hair back. No reaction. She just keeps on looking at me. It’s a good sign. I lean in and she reciprocates. We kiss, softly and gently at first, and then more voraciously. I learned my lesson from the previous daytime makeouts, so I pull away a few seconds later. I am not going to make the mistake of doing too much, too soon.
I take her by the hand and we keep on walking and talking. I run my standard Comfort and physical escalation stuff – we sit down on the grass, listen to the music and I put my arms around her and stroke her gently. I find out all about her passions, her interests, where she has travelled, and what she wants to be when she grows up. I tell her a bit about myself, without giving too much away.
Girls don’t need to know all the details about you. They just want to see some evidence that you could be the kind of man they spend time with. What this is exactly varies from woman to woman, but there are certain alpha male characteristics that are almost universally attractive, such as passion, ambition, determination, adventurousness and integrity.
We keep walking and eventually meet up with her friend. At this point, I’m trying to figure out how best to get her alone. I tell her that I’d love to spend more time with her and seed the idea of having drinks at my hotel later on in the evening. When you seed an idea like this early on, it achieves two things. It tests the water to see how they react to the idea and it makes it seem smoother later on when it’s actually time to move back to your place.
I start setting sexual frames as well to make sure that she understands (on an emotional level) that we are going to be intimate. I tell her I am going to kiss her delicious skin all over, and that she’s going to enjoy running her hands over my muscular, taut body. She is smiling and says, “That sounds nice.” It’s on.
I go catch up with my friend while she goes off with hers. I leave them to chill for a while, and then tell her to come meet me outside the festival. We get in a tram and head back to my hotel. Once we get inside, she looks at me and says, “I have to tell you something.” I’ve heard these words enough times to know what’s coming. “I’m a virgin,” she says.
Seduction is one of the most delicate stages of an interaction with a woman. This is never more true than with a virgin because it’s the point where she is at her highest level of investment with you. I struggled for a long time to do the right things once I had gotten a girl to my bedroom until I came across Love Systems. Magic Bullets talks about how Pacing, Logistics, Arousal and Reassurance can help you manage everything that can happen in Seduction. In the case of this girl, it was genuine reassurance that was the most important factor.
Soul: [Big, warm smile] That’s okay. We don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do. I’m going to take care of you tonight, okay honey?
Her: I know. That’s why I came home with you. I just felt so comfortable with you. This is crazy. I’ve never slept with any of my boyfriends before. I always lied and told them I was waiting for the one, but I don’t think I was. I think I just needed someone to make me feel as comfortable as you have.
I look at her, smile, and lead her by the hand to my bed. I say, “Let’s get into bed,” and we take off our clothes.
I spend the next half hour making the softest, gentlest and most sensual love to her. Once I’m sure she’s enjoying it and it’s not hurting her, I shift up a few gears and break a sweat.
I get this text from her when she gets home:
“Hey Jeremy, how are you? I just wanted to let you know that I really loved spending time with you. This night was amazing, just as you are. I wish you and your friend a good time in Amsterdam. We’ll stay in touch. Xx”
It was a beautiful day outside and night had just begun to fall.