If you've ever seen Spring Break or Ibiza or any big festival on TV, you know how filled with beautiful women they are. Combine music, sand, sex, and alcohol, and it should be easy.
So why do so many guys come home frustrated?
Most of the time, it's because they're making things MUCH harder for themselves than they need to be. Like any situation involving women and dating, you can make it hard or you can make it easy. I'm going to show you how to make it easy.
[Note: while this article contains tons of great information that anyone can use on the beaches right away, you'll get the most out of it once you've read the "bible" of dating science, Magic Bullets. This book is the basis for everything we at Love Systems teach and do ourselves.]
Your choice of hotel MATTERS. A lot.
There are usually 1 or 2 hotels that are where all the action is and where most of the hot girls will be staying. Call around if you don't know which these are. It's important.
(Don't assume that it's the most expensive hotel – often it's not.)
Doing this gives you three huge advantages.
You now have a 24/7 supply of beautiful women to hang out with, either as potential partners or as a mini-social circle so you can attract other women.
You are always going to be going "home" with beautiful women. Instead of trying to convince a girl to ditch her friends to go to a hotel she doesn't know with a guy she doesn't know (possibly all in a foreign country), all you have to do is convince her to walk down the hall to your room.
It's very common on spring break or at party places that hotels will only let guests into the hotel at night. If you don't have a room there, you're not getting a wristband. If you don't have a wristband, you're not going to a hotel room with her.
(It's possible to defeat the evil wristband police - on one of my most epic spring break adventures we met 3 really hot girls and had to smuggle them past gate security by hiding them under blankets in the back seat. But I can't count how many beautiful women I lost on spring break because they couldn't get into our hotel or we couldn't get into theirs.)
Pack some props for your hotel room. As you'll see in the "pre-party" section coming up, the right props can mean the difference between success and failure.
Also bring daytime/beach/pool props. This is something I stole from Savoy – he was telling me how he'd bring something interesting like a handwriting analysis book or a professional-looking photo portfolio along with a towel and sunglasses to the beach. When he saw someone he wanted to meet, he asked her to "watch his stuff" when he went to swim or get a drink. When he came back, at least half of the time the woman would be curious enough to start a conversation with HIM!
Hot girls hitting on you, surrounded by sun, sea, and drinks. Sure beats Monday at the office...
Don't spend the daytime passed out from drinking the night before. A spring break hotel is a perfect opportunity to combine the pickup techniques of a Love Systems Bootcamp with the social alchemy of our unique creation, Social Circle Mastery.
Crack into as many groups of women as you can. Get involved in stuff. Surf. Swim. Hang out on the beach. Play beach volleyball and make some new hot friends with something like "Hey, we need two more girls for our team; you guys down to play?"
It's way easier to seduce a woman over many interactions over a week than it is as a one-shot deal (like if you tried to go from meet to sex the first time you met her). It's not like if you saw her at a bar and have no idea whether you'll see her again. You know where she'll be. She's at your hotel.
In other words, building value over time is way easier than trying to turn a hot "10" from Ice Queen to Love Slave in the last hour at a loud club.
And when you do see her at night, your work is cut in half. She knows you, so you won't need to approach. She'll be more comfortable hanging out with you than if she'd met you at the club.
Use the daytime to build comfort and some qualification. Some intrigue-based attraction is fine, but go easy on the high-energy emotional spike stuff. (The Love Systems Routines Manual explains the difference and gives examples of word-for-word scripts for either scenario.)
When you're out at night, pull out your high-energy state-based attraction game. Let her see you – the cool guy from the hotel – as a hot and sexy potential catch at the end of the night. You'll be miles ahead of the drunken strangers trying to pick her up.
No, this isn't the way the Emotional Progression Model (one part of the Love Systems approach... if you're lost, head over to the Magic Bullets page and pick up the book now or download the free sample pack) works, but then again, the Love Systems Triad is designed for the real world. Spring break is not the real world – it's an artificial reality full of tens of thousands of young, beautiful, sexually-minded women out for a party on the beach.
But there's also another, EVEN MORE IMPORTANT reason why you should make friends with women at your hotel.
They're your mini social circle.
Use them to attract MORE women – the women you do sleep with. Just like in normal life, having girls with your group will make you more attractive to approach other women (in the book Magic Bullets, we call this phenomenon "Pre-selection").
Spring break is filled with drunk obnoxious guys hitting on every hot girl. You'll stand out if you're the guy who women are hanging out with and having a great time. So don't run around 'your' hotel hitting on every hot girl.
(Of course, if she's not staying at your hotel, or she wants to go "chill" in your hotel room, go for it.)
These women – your mini social circle – are not your territory to be defended at all costs. Be relaxed and even encouraging if they talk to other guys. Don't kill the goose that lays the golden eggs...
Do NOT neglect this crucial technique. This is one of the biggest differences between men who are successful on spring break and men who aren't.
If you hit it off well with a girl or group of girls from your hotel, ask them what club they are going to that night. Whatever club they say, you say... "cool, I think that's where we are going. You guys want to catch a cab over together?" If they say yes, then invite them over to pre-party in your room at 8 or 9.
This means you should have music and a few drinks in your room so they will want to stay and will want to pre-party there next time. Drinking games, music, anything silly and fun.
Don't rush it with these women. Let any hooking up or coupling happen organically. Over the course of the night, some or all of their group is going to break off and meet other guys, and some of her girls won't like your buddies in that way. It doesn't matter. Don't make anyone uncomfortable by acting jealous.
Using indirect or opinion openers can work if you find a quiet area in the club, but you will quickly need to get into a topic that is fun. Spring break is all about cutting loose and being crazy. Deep, low-energy conversations won't get you far.
Myself, I prefer to use a direct or situational opener on spring break.
Don't worry if approaching seems a bit harder than you are used to. The clubs are so big, loud, and high-energy that it's inevitable. But it's also not as big of a deal. It's not like a quiet lounge back home where you have to maintain your social proof because everyone will notice. On spring break, you can get blown out a dozen times and no one will notice or care.
Direct Opener Examples:
"You are cute/hot, what's your name?"
"How do you expect me not to hit on you when you look like this?"
"You are really cute, I'm Braddock."
"I don't think I've met you yet, I'm Braddock."
"I'm not sure what to say to you, but I had to meet you... I'm Braddock."
Situational Opener Examples:
"I'm sorry, there's actually no dancing in here."
"I'm sorry, there is actually no drinking in here."
(To a tall girl) "Hi, I'm not really into short girls, but you are really sexy."
(To a short girl) "Hi, I'm not really into tall girls, but you are sexy as hell."
"Excuse me, do you know what time the bible study starts tonight?"
I'm probably going to sound like a broken record here, but logistics are key.
One of the great things about the new Love Systems model is that Savoy made logistics an explicit part of the process. I always felt that it was something that was lacking from how "the community" thought of pickup. And then we just did a great interview with Soul specifically on Logistics: Taking Her Home.
Well, guess what? Logistics are EVEN MORE IMPORTANT ON SPRING BREAK.
With every woman you talk to, find out her situation. Even if she's the hottest woman on the planet, it's a waste of time if she is staying 20 miles down the beach and she drove the rental car so all her friends could drink. Are there 10 girls staying in one room? Is she staying in a Fort Knox of a hotel? Are her friends extremely judgmental? Find out logistics early and cut bait if they're not favorable.
Remember that spring break is slightly different than normal club situations. Women aren't looking for their next boyfriends. Don't make the mistake of being the serious deep philosophical guy. Avoid attempting to run deep comfort until you get her back to the hotel or at least until you can get her somewhere quiet like a walk on the beach. In most venues it will be much too loud and crazy to hold a woman's attention if you try to slow things down and get deep.
Your main emphasis should be on keeping things playful and physical. This is best done through teasing and short role-plays, dancing, and leading. You may want to upgrade your skills in teasing and in role-plays by grabbing those audio guides (from our audio catalogue) first and listening to them on your way down.
Once you have her attention and attraction, focus hard on Logistics. Move her as much as possible. You need to build momentum for the point at the end of the night when you are expecting her to go home with a complete stranger to a hotel room she has never been to, in the middle of the night, possibly in a foreign country. Build momentum so that she gets used to following your lead.
Do NOT rely on phones, text messages, and phone game on spring break. Hot women (and the men they are interested in) are a dime a dozen and in the high-stimulation "party" atmosphere, it's almost weird to be putting too much effort into one girl. She'll wonder why none of the other 999,837,846 hot women on spring break are responding to you if you're so focused on her. Sure, take a phone number; it can't hurt, but don't expect great results from standard phone and text game.
The dance floor is the quickest way to escalate things physically (even if you can't dance, just move her to the center of the mob and grind away). These places are usually so loud that dancing is one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal. Of course you don't 'have' to dance and you can have success without it, but it will make your life much easier.
Dancing also eats a ton of time, which builds comfort, and takes care of the second pillar of the Love Systems Triad: Physical Escalation. Even if you can't dance, dance anyway. (For the blueprint on comfort and physical escalation, look no further than Magic Bullets.)
Beware – don't sleep with a clingy girl who is staying at your hotel if you don't want to be seen with her all week. If she is really into you, she will get in the way with other women.
To avoid this, set the right frames both BEFORE and AFTER you hook up.
Spring break is not a place where you are likely to meet your next girlfriend or future wife. Spring break is all about hooking up 'now or never.' If you are the kind of guy who is used to phone numbers, dates, and building deep comfort, you may be frustrated on spring break. The women are flaky and spring break is not logistically set up for dates.
Because of the lack of comfort-building opportunities, it's not uncommon for women to have second thoughts once they're in bed with you.
Protect yourself against this frustration by setting frames that imply sexual intent. You don't need to be overly sexual or pushy, but it is a good idea to introduce at least some sexual dialogue. The key is the timing. If you introduce it before you have solid attraction it will destroy your chances. You also want to wait to set these frames when you have some privacy and her friends aren't listening.
Examples of Pre-Frames:
"This is so weird that we met like this. It sucks we only have a week together."
"You know what I like about you? You seem like you're really open minded. I like that. Most people are so judgmental and uptight."
Pre-Frame by Challenging Her Sexually:
"You are really sexy and really cool, but I bet you are horrible in bed."
"You are really sexy, but I can tell you are a bad kisser."
"Oh, you're from the Midwest? So you are definitely a total prude."
"We can't hang out, this ends in a makeout."
"I love those shoes... if we end up having sex, you are leaving those on."
"You're really hot, but I can already tell you are too much of a nice girl for me."
"You're from the South? Okay, so you still have those weird 1950s views on boys and sex, right?"
"We could never date. It would last exactly 2 months and be nothing but fights and makeup sex."
"It's a good thing you don't live in Los Angeles... we would have sex like 5 times a day."
When you see her the next day, don't act weird. Just act exactly like you did the day before. Don't make out with her or run around the beach holding hands. Just be flirty and playful. If you are just being social in general then she won't notice that you are actively gaming other girls. If you try to hook up right in front of her it might cause problems, but if you are just talking to everyone, she will assume you are just a social guy.
The truth is that you should just avoid the women that you think will be clingy. Most women on spring break won't be. They are there for the same reason you are and are worried YOU are going to be clingy or get in the way of the rest of their spring break.
For that reason, even if you like her, don't treat her like she is your new girlfriend. You may or may not hook up with her again on the trip, but the fastest way to guarantee that you don't is to turn into a clingy boyfriend.
To set good frames, focus on stuff like "this was hot" and don't place an emphasis on the connection you made, the feelings you have for each other, or how glad you are that you met. Focus on "how attracted you are to her" and "how much she turns you on."
Keep things light/silly/playful after sex. Don't let things get too serious or awkward. When you wake up there will often be other people in the room (your friends or hers). I will often say something like the following to lighten the mood of the awkwardness of being naked in a stranger's hotel room the next morning.
Example in Action:
Braddock: "Mr. M, thank God I'm a moral rock. This girl tried to seduce me last night. I told her that I'm from Oklahoma and that we don't even kiss girls until the second date, but she insisted that I take my clothes off."
Girl: "[Laughing]... Whatever!!!"
Braddock: "Mr. M, you know how shy I am in bars and clubs. I was in the corner minding my own business and this girl comes up to me and basically forces me to drink alcoholic beverages, was uncomfortably touchy feely, and was talking all smooth."
Girl: "Hahaha... Whatever, Mr. M, he came and talked to me!!!"
Braddock: "Mr. M... don't let her paint me with an unfair brush. You know I'm saving my virginity until marriage. As a matter of fact... don't you think it's only fair that she buys us breakfast as payment for tricking a sweet, innocent Oklahoma boy?????"
Mr. M (Said in silly Australian Accent): "Yeah, I think that is more than fair. I mean I'm going to have to hold him and explain to him that you aren't going to marry him."
Girl: "HAHAHA!! You guys are awesome! Let me call all my friends and have an orgy."
Okay, maybe that is taking it a little far, but you get the point.
It's all about keeping things silly and light. You must steer the ship. If you keep things light and fun, she will stay light and fun. If you take things deep, she will go deep.
Good luck on your spring break adventure!