Here’s why it’s lucky that you are (I assume) a man. There’s not that much an ugly, overweight, or too old woman can do to attract more than a small number of men. As a man, you can almost always be attractive to women based on your personality.
You know by now that this doesn’t mean having a “nice” personality. It means being able to take her on an emotional journey, create humor, imply pre-selection, and take advantage of all of the other building blocks of attraction I talk about in my book, Magic Bullets.
The great thing about personality is that you can improve it. No woman is ever inherently “out of your league.” If you're worried about how to be better looking, here's a few tips.
Oh, sure, she might be out of your league now. If you’re new to Love Systems and meet a supermodel at a party, you might not hit a home run. This year. But, when you meet her again next year, watch out.
At the same time, I’m not going to lie to you. OF COURSE looks matter. OF COURSE your age matters. It all matters.
For instance, if there was a guy who had the same skills as I do but was also good looking... that would be insane. They’d need to lock him up; he’d be that good.
But so what?
Most people don’t have every possible advantage for every possible activity. I’m good at basketball, but I’m kind of slow. With women I don’t have a deep voice or naturally good looks. The only reason I got so good with women and dating was that I made the right changes to my personality.
Most women are the same way. They dress to show off their ‘best’ assets and neutralize their worst.
You can do the same. There are lots of obvious things you can do to neutralize what’s holding you back, or (usually more accurately) what you THINK is holding you back. For example:
Too short? Wear shoes that give you extra height. Like an inch or two.
Stereotype? Look different. Both Mr. M and Bonsai have fashionable outfits and haircuts that short-circuit the “boring Asian guy” stereotype before she even talks to them.
Weight? Dress to avoid, sure, but don’t explain or excuse. If you gained a lot of weight during a stressful time in your life and you want to work it off, that’s great. You can mention that in passing (when talking about goals) in the “Comfort phase.” Not before.
If you don’t know what the “Comfort phase” of a pickup is, you need to brush up on basic pick up technology. Get the free download of the Love Systems Triad model.
And then there are specific routines you can use for different situations – to turn any obstacle into a strength or to deflect it.
One of my best natural friends (yes, naturals use routines – it’s human nature to repeat what works instead of reinventing the wheel) is 5'7". He loves tall women and has a great routine – it works because he is funny, and comedic delivery is huge – on how much tall women love him because there’s no risk they’d even be looking up at him and see nostril hair.
Physical obstacles go further than that. At the 2008 Love Systems Super Conference (every October the world’s best dating coaches come to one of the hottest hotels in Las Vegas for a weekend of fun, information sharing, and training), there was one guy who came in on crutches. He went home with a beautiful woman the second night – prettier than most guys have ever dated.
So, it should be no surprise that one of the best pick up artists in the world – Mr. M – admits that he is: “Asian, short, and not really good-looking.” And yet he picks up Playboy Playmates.
So we got him, along with rising Love Systems star Keychain, to talk about picking up women and physical obstacles. Keychain isn’t classically good-looking either.
It’s our newest interview and subscribers are already raving about it. Here’s a quote from an email I just got this morning:
"I never thought I could turn my burn scars into an advantage. I’ve been too shy to even go out for as long as I can remember. I heard Mr. M and Keychain on the last interview and I decided I had nothing to lose by trying. Let me tell you, Savoy, I had the sexiest woman eating out of my hand when I made her work so hard to get me to tell her my story. She spent the night and the next morning she told me she thought my scars were sexy. I’m still thinking... WTF? But I’ll take it!"
-J.B., New York, NY