Dating advice (for women): Good tips and pseudoscientific sludge
November 19th, 2009
Hat tip again to Mr M for letting me know about this piece about how much skin a woman should show at a club.
The last time I read so much stuff because someone asked me to, I was in 12th grade English.
This kind of article - and I know I've been picking on the mainstream media for a while - has all of the good and all of the bad that "scientific" study of dating and attraction is famous for. And why so many people believe in Love Systems (the old Mystery Method Corp).
The Good
There's some objective, hypothesis-based testing going on here. That's good. It's not "well I picked up this girl and that night I did such-and-such, so such-and-such is a good idea". I knew a guy in South Africa who used a bit of gel every day to put exactly one hair kind of curling down toward his eyebrow. Five years before, he'd met some girl when his hair was like that and ever since has been convinced that it's attractive.
I don't know much more about the study than what is in the article, though I suspect that one night at one club in one place isn't going to tell you much. That's the problem with the Guru system. You're not getting enough diversity and calibration to your personal experiences. I'm 100x better dating coach / pick up artist instructor because I have a very talented team of 20 of the best guys in the world - most of whom are nothing like me - to test, argue against, or build on anything I come up with. Which is a good thing, because the odds are that any given client is not going to be your long-list twin.
(For more on this, check out one of the debriefs we did after a 1-1 in Los Angeles:
http://www.lovesystems.com/media/audio/Savoywithstudent.mp3
The Bad
40%? Not 30% Not 50% We're really that precise when trying to quantify sexual interest from men? Arms count for 10% Why not 15%? Does that change the answer? Is any of this helpful to anyone?
"Better put that scarf back on Melissa, you're at 47% skin!"
So once you get all of the false precision out, you're left with: "Women should show some skin, but not too much. Tighter clothes and sexualized movements help too."
...which I suspect will get a giant "duh" from my female readers. Both of them.
The last time I read so much stuff because someone asked me to, I was in 12th grade English.
This kind of article - and I know I've been picking on the mainstream media for a while - has all of the good and all of the bad that "scientific" study of dating and attraction is famous for. And why so many people believe in Love Systems (the old Mystery Method Corp).
The Good
There's some objective, hypothesis-based testing going on here. That's good. It's not "well I picked up this girl and that night I did such-and-such, so such-and-such is a good idea". I knew a guy in South Africa who used a bit of gel every day to put exactly one hair kind of curling down toward his eyebrow. Five years before, he'd met some girl when his hair was like that and ever since has been convinced that it's attractive.
I don't know much more about the study than what is in the article, though I suspect that one night at one club in one place isn't going to tell you much. That's the problem with the Guru system. You're not getting enough diversity and calibration to your personal experiences. I'm 100x better dating coach / pick up artist instructor because I have a very talented team of 20 of the best guys in the world - most of whom are nothing like me - to test, argue against, or build on anything I come up with. Which is a good thing, because the odds are that any given client is not going to be your long-list twin.
(For more on this, check out one of the debriefs we did after a 1-1 in Los Angeles:
http://www.lovesystems.com/media/audio/Savoywithstudent.mp3
The Bad
40%? Not 30% Not 50% We're really that precise when trying to quantify sexual interest from men? Arms count for 10% Why not 15%? Does that change the answer? Is any of this helpful to anyone?
"Better put that scarf back on Melissa, you're at 47% skin!"
So once you get all of the false precision out, you're left with: "Women should show some skin, but not too much. Tighter clothes and sexualized movements help too."
...which I suspect will get a giant "duh" from my female readers. Both of them.